My work is about supporting others to get the results they want in their business. Many of my clients are allegedly in a position of power which often means they feel lonely, isolated and would welcome challenge and I am here to do just that. Let’s face it, life in itself often feels like one big challenge and can be dealt with easier if you have someone to share the load. Successful people like Tiger Woods, Donald Trump and Andy Murray all work with others, be it coaches, mentors or teachers. Challenge the process and make sure there is some fun along the way.
During a recent client discussion, one facing tough times, I got the feeling that something wasn’t quite right, she was telling what she was going to do however her voice lacked its’ usual passion so I asked a question.
“What could stop you doing this?”
There was an expected silence while she thought. Silence is a place I encourage all my clients to go, to be alone with their thoughts and take some time just to think.
I was taken aback by her reply,
“I was thinking about suicide last week”
I chose to stay in the silence for a while, which we do quite often, so we could both reflect on her words. “I was thinking about suicide last week”
Into my mind flew two different thoughts:
The first, my own experience of the devastation of suicide when the husband of my best friend (since primary one) lost her husband to suicide. I clearly remembered the heartache, the tears, the feeling of waste, the display of photos that we both shared with her two kids at that time, extremely difficult indeed for us all.
The second, a few words from Michael Meade on a CD, a gift from my mentor covering the many aspects of youth and with a plethora of great stories, philosophies and guidance that would be beneficial for many during different stages of life.
“Have you thought about how you would do it?”
She told me, which confirmed that she had seriously thought about it.
“When were you going to do it?”
“Not sure.”
Silence
“Can I share something with you?”
“Yep”
“To become bigger, something inside us has to die and we have to let it die because that’s how we grow into the next stage of our life. Does that make sense?”
“Actually yes, it does”
“Don’t confuse that something with yourself.”
“OK”
“Do you know what it is that is trying to die? Take some time.”
She told me
We made contact every day for the next week and then she said,
“Thank you Jane, for saving my life”
In all the years and all the thanks I have received for doing what I do, I have never been so grateful for these words. Not for me, not even for her, but for her nephews and niece that would have been heartbroken to lose such a fantastic, fun loving, special caring auntie. All she would have done was to pass on her pain.
And then there are her two dogs, which she loves and cares for more than any other dog lover I know.
I am often grateful for the power of silence, in that space where we can be with our thoughts, to sort stuff out and also for the power of questions, what I briefly thought, if I hadn’t asked the question!
I really wanted to share this as I believe it carries a really important message. Many times in our life the thought of suicide enters our minds, even if just for a brief second, and if you hear someone talking about it and can find out which part of their life has to go, you too may just save a life.
Passing on the pain
My work is about supporting others to get the results they want in their business. Many of my clients are allegedly in a position of power which often means they feel lonely, isolated and would welcome challenge and I am here to do just that. Let’s face it, life in itself often feels like one big challenge and can be dealt with easier if you have someone to share the load. Successful people like Tiger Woods, Donald Trump and Andy Murray all work with others, be it coaches, mentors or teachers. Challenge the process and make sure there is some fun along the way.
During a recent client discussion, one facing tough times, I got the feeling that something wasn’t quite right, she was telling what she was going to do however her voice lacked its’ usual passion so I asked a question.
“What could stop you doing this?”
There was an expected silence while she thought. Silence is a place I encourage all my clients to go, to be alone with their thoughts and take some time just to think.
I was taken aback by her reply,
“I was thinking about suicide last week”
I chose to stay in the silence for a while, which we do quite often, so we could both reflect on her words. “I was thinking about suicide last week”
Into my mind flew two different thoughts:
“Have you thought about how you would do it?”
She told me, which confirmed that she had seriously thought about it.
“When were you going to do it?”
“Not sure.”
Silence
“Can I share something with you?”
“Yep”
“To become bigger, something inside us has to die and we have to let it die because that’s how we grow into the next stage of our life. Does that make sense?”
“Actually yes, it does”
“Don’t confuse that something with yourself.”
“OK”
“Do you know what it is that is trying to die? Take some time.”
She told me
We made contact every day for the next week and then she said,
“Thank you Jane, for saving my life”
In all the years and all the thanks I have received for doing what I do, I have never been so grateful for these words. Not for me, not even for her, but for her nephews and niece that would have been heartbroken to lose such a fantastic, fun loving, special caring auntie. All she would have done was to pass on her pain.
And then there are her two dogs, which she loves and cares for more than any other dog lover I know.
I am often grateful for the power of silence, in that space where we can be with our thoughts, to sort stuff out and also for the power of questions, what I briefly thought, if I hadn’t asked the question!
I really wanted to share this as I believe it carries a really important message. Many times in our life the thought of suicide enters our minds, even if just for a brief second, and if you hear someone talking about it and can find out which part of their life has to go, you too may just save a life.
Till the next time,
Categories